Signs At Just The Right Time. Our Angels in Action
I know I’m not alone when I’ve received signs at just the right time. You hear the stories from your friends, family, neighbors, and so on. You’ve read about them, and watched them on television. I know many have thought…these are our angels in action. I have.
I’m inspired to write this for the simple fact that I have experienced an increase of these messages in what has been a very painful year for me. I continue to be amazed by the “coincidences”. I know in my heart though…coincidences they are not.
Over a year ago, I had worked as a companion for the elderly. It was an experience I never had before and I loved it. It didn’t take long to bond with each one. It’s quite simple, they need you, they are often times lonely, and if you treat them with respect, more often than not, you will in return get the same and more…love.
When you walk through that door, whether you’re there for 30 minutes, an hour, or several hours, often, you are bringing the sunshine in to what is many times a boring and dreary day for them.
I had one particular client that had me wrapped around her little finger, and she knew it. She was in her 90’s and so much like my own Grandmother. The one I was very close to growing up. Her soul did not match her age one bit.
She was feisty. I often told her she had ants in her pants. She’d just laugh. With anything I’d say, she’d laugh. She loved sarcasm as well, and had such a mischievous side. She was a pure heart though, and kind.
I can’t count how many times when my shift was over she’d joke and say “no, you can’t go home, stay on the sofa and keep me company all night. If you leave I’ll push the red button and tell them you’re abusing me”. That was her favorite threat and she thought it was hilarious. She did make me smile, so much. I loved her. We’d both say “love you” often.
For financial reasons as well as emotional ones, after a management change, I left the job. Many of the clients I formed bonds with had to be put with others. They were also saddened, but I let them know I’d come back and check on them when I could, and when I could…..I did.
I last saw my feisty fave around Valentine’s Day. I surprised her at dinner. I had heard of the passing of her very close friend. I wanted to see if she was okay. I could see a shift in her, but she still smiled and repeatedly let me know she was happy to see me.
With all the recent challenges I was facing, unfortunately, time ran out…and it was the last time I saw her.
At some point during the summer, I was at my laptop scrolling through my Facebook and had a trigger to write a post. I honestly can’t remember what that trigger was. I just had an overwhelming urge to write it. I reflected on it and then I expressed how we often wait until someone passes before we express the most beautiful sentiments, however, before then, did they ever hear them?
I know I’ve often wondered who genuinely cares about me. I’m sure at one point or another….everyone has.
I’m guilty of that myself. I’m much better at expressions in writing than verbally, however, I do verbally tell those that I care about in my life “I love you” and I say it often. I at least do that knowing how in the blink of an eye, you can lose someone.
It was during that time of writing that particular post that my feisty fave had passed away. I hadn’t received the news yet. Soon after, I realized my trigger for that post was a message from heaven. Did I sense her passing? This was more of a subtle sign compared to the others that followed.
Several deaths occurred since then. Two of them were people that were part of my long ago past. They were both my age. I was saddened by the circumstances of their death, and reflective on our long ago past together. Sadly though, it was also not a surprise. I grieved to an extent, and moved on. That was the end.
However, the most recent one by far shook me hard. She had been there in my later years….the past 14 years. I carry guilt with her despite the fact that we would often say “love ya”. I feel, it wasn’t enough. I should have said and done more. 
In the first few years, we had the habit of meeting up once a month. Sometimes there would be a phone call in between, but mostly chit chatting online. You make some time with what little time you have within your own responsibilities of a family life. We never lived in the same town. I was convinced though that if we had, we’d be practically inseparable. We had so much in common it was almost eerie. Every time I learned something new about her, it almost always followed with “me too!
Anyway, she was also feisty. Downright fierce when she needed to be. We were never overly mushy with each other. In fact, “love ya” was usually followed with something like “witch”. Through the busy years of our friendship, many of it was lived through Facebook. She became pregnant not long after meeting her. I watched her daughter grow up through pictures. Just 3 years ago, we made a move to Florida, so from there, our connections were ALL online.
Through the years she “listened” to me on the phone or through online messages about the worries and loneliness through military deployment, the stresses with the kids at home, taking care of a terminally ill relative, and so on. She also cheered through the joys.
I heard hers as well. At one time, I assumed it was her most painful stress and I was touched that she’d reach out to me. I did what I could to be supportive, which was listen. However, since then, her most painful time was the stage 4 lung cancer she was diagnosed with. However, I didn’t push enough. I was too busy stressing over all that was happening in the past year of my life, forgetting that my struggle and fears were far less than hers. 
Matter of fact, a few times through the year, I almost messaged her out of habit to say “Woman, you won’t believe what is going on here” and then stopped myself and said “wait, don’t you dare, she’s in a fight for her life“. It was a hard habit to break because she was that friend. She was that friend that you could be raw and real with. You could tell her everything and she’d not only listen but even dish out the insults with you about whoever is hurting you….instead of trying to talk you out of them.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to suffocate her asking how she’s doing, and didn’t want to get mushy with her when that was not the norm for us. For me to do something out of the norm, to me, would make her question if I thought she was losing the battle.
That was the furthest from the truth. Every part of me believed she’d beat Cancer. She was feisty, strong, and young. I remember a few pictures posted while she had treatment and she was smiling in them. I thought “oh, she’s got this!
I was wrong. She put up a fierce fight no doubt, but was beat. A complete shock to read the news that she had passed, to see HER picture. I cried out to my husband several times ….Are you kidding me! This year, out of all experiences, it was through her that I received the clearest signs. Was it because she was the one I hurt most from? Was it because she now knows of the guilt I carry? Maybe. As an angel now…maybe she’s helping me through it. 
She passed as the threat of Hurricane Irma became very real for us in Florida. Living in a mobile home, we had to evacuate and due to personal reasons, going to my hometown in Massachusetts was not an option. Had it been, it would have served several purposes. I would have safely evacuated back “home”, and while I was there, would have been able to attend her funeral and say goodbye.
We instead evacuated elsewhere with the invitation from a dear friend. She graciously opened her home to us…to include our pets. I was grateful, but deeply struggling with more guilt. It was an 18 hour drive, and with that drive, the first clear sign from heaven occurred…
We left early in the morning. By night, we were approaching Alabama. My friend’s wake was that day so I checked in with a mutual friend to see how it went. As I learned more details of her death, my heart felt heavier. For at least an hour, I was silent. All I could think of…was her. Finally, a sigh, and said to my husband “I haven’t stopped thinking about her”. It was then, no longer than 3 seconds later as we made a slight turn, a giant illuminated cross appeared.
Words, and even this picture I show you now, doesn’t capture the full affect. It was smack dab in front of us and as we got closer it seemed to just tower over us. Both of us stunned, “wow”. My husband glanced to me and said “well, that’s a sign”. Sure was.
Signs are all a matter of interpretation. However, I can’t imagine it being much of anything else. It HAD to be her.
My interpretation is that she was saying “I know your thoughts and I’m acknowledging them. I know how you feel about me and this is my sign to you. I timed it perfectly so that you’d know it’s me. “I’m with God”. I’m at peace, and you should be too.
We arrived at our destination Friday afternoon the next day. We stayed there for 5 days as we didn’t want to rush back to Florida and be stuck in traffic. We also didn’t know if electricity was yet restored. So, we were patient. We loved the time spent with our friends, but I know I was restless to get home….to assess the damage and get to work.
Upon arriving home, we were stunned. A mobile home surrounded in trees was as we left it, and only one large broken branch on the ground. Not even a dent on the car left behind. We also had power when many in our county went over a week without it. The yard though, very big, and there was lots of raking to do. “Messy” was our only problem. We were lucky.
I was quite busy for the next few days. Many times as I worked, I thought of her. However, I still had not caught my breath. We contacted a church group that we heard was looking to volunteer with cleanups. How lucky we were to wake up one morning and the many many piles of leaves we had raked up were being picked up by these volunteers. They even removed the large branch we would have had to cut up and haul away ourselves.
Finally, the days were becoming normal again. Things back to routine. Then, I had time to really process all of it. I had to get out what was eating away at me. I needed it released. I wrote to my friend, I wrote from the heart. It was lengthy but not overwhelming. I left it on her Facebook page as many of her friends and family left their own expressions. 
My next sign from her was on its way. As I did here, I made mention of how we were never mushy with each other. How a “love you” was often followed by “witch”. Witch wasn’t always the word. Usually the first letter was replaced with another. I wrote to her the core of what I was feeling…. saddened that she wasn’t actually there to read it.
Within a few minutes of doing so, I scrolled through my timeline. Just then, a friend of mine had posted something unrelated to me, but I stopped at it. It was a picture of a note that read “Love You Witch”. Actually, the W was something else. I told my husband. His reply “I saw it and said something to you, but you didn’t hear me”. He knew it was a sign as well.
My interpretation this time? Well, based on what I wrote to her, she was now telling me “I forgive you….and I still love you, Witch. Thank you my friend… for taking that weight off my shoulders. 
The first sign, a confirmation. Her asserting her presence and acknowledging my thoughts. The second sign was her forgiving me, lifting the weight off my shoulders and letting me know….I’m still a witch, still loved.
The 3rd sign? Well now it’s back to normal again. Humor. Long ago when her and I chatted, we joked about a particular person. The word she used for a description was one I had never heard before. We laughed and I told her “Only you would come up with that”. Although it was long ago, whenever I thought of it, I’d laugh.
Several weeks before her passing I jokingly made a comment in a Facebook group. I used her word. Well, it came back to me as the third sign a few weeks later. I received a notification and when I went to check it, it was a simple Like from someone on my comment. My comment that was now several weeks old, that was forgotten…. with a new like. It was that very one, that word. I smiled. It’s her! Another laugh!
Missing your loved ones never goes away, but when they send you a sign, it brings you closure, and most of all peace. Some may say that all it is, is wishful thinking. I suppose the subtle ones could be. However, those clear ones, the ones that all come at the right time, I cannot believe it is wishful thinking. It has to be more. 
You can’t focus on getting them. You can’t be so determined to get one that you do in fact create them from wishful thinking. However, the lesson I get from it though is chin up. You’ll never see them looking down.
In life, no one makes it out alive, but when we pass on…we live on. This time, not as the student, but as the teacher, the protector, and the guiding light when all is dark. We long for their presence. The sight, the sound, the warmth.
Yet we have it, it’s all there…… and their light not only leads in the dark, but also burns bright to keep warm our hearts.
